Wet Pillows
by Harry Potter Fan 1994
Summary: Wet pillows are very important in Kori Anders' life. They're what she has found every morning when she wakes up for the past five years, soaked with tears. Maybe a little music could bring her life back. Pairing: RobxStar
1. Prologue

Okay, so, I know the whole orchestra idea was kinda stupid, but I was feeling musical when I wrote this, so just bear with me. LOL. Disclaimer: I don't own TT

* * *

Starfire flung herself on her bed, sobbing. How could he have done this to her? What had she done to deserve this? 

Raven entered Starfire's room silently and sat down on the bed next to Starfire's weeping form. She wasn't so great at comfort, but Robin wasn't going to be much help at the moment.

"You know he didn't mean it, Starfire. He…needs to sort out his priorities. Something's not right, or he wouldn't have…"

"He does not love me anymore! _That _is what is not right!" screamed Starfire into her pillow. The pillow muffled the sound some, but it still hurt Raven's ears.

"Yes he does, Starfire, there has to be a reason!" she said, her voice rising. A nearby vase of flowers exploded, water soaking the card attached that read _To Starfire, Happy 2 year Anniversary! Love, Robin_. Starfire shut up immediately, but couldn't keep tears from falling at the sight of the destroyed vase.

Raven sighed. "Give me that letter again. Maybe he left a clue to where he went."

Starfire's hand, previously clenched, opened to reveal a very crumpled piece of paper. On it was the messy scrawl of something written hurriedly.

_Titans—_

_I'm sorry I couldn't tell you earlier, but something's come up. I've got to leave. I hope you guys will stick together and protect the city without me, and that you'll forgive me one day for just leaving the team. Beast Boy, I know I've always been really harsh on you, but I didn't mean it, really. You're like the little brother I never had. Cyborg, you're my best friend, and I never got to tell you I appreciate everything you've ever done for me. Raven, you're a guardian angel, always there for me. Don't change, and I want to let you know BB's liked you for a long time. Sorry about the attempted joke. I never was good at them anyway. I don't want to say goodbye, but this is it. I hope we meet again in the future, but the chances of that are slim to none._

_I'll never forget you guys,_

_Robin_

Nowhere in the letter did it mention his girlfriend of over two years.

"He has already forgotten _me_," moaned Starfire, burying her face in her hands. Raven sighed again. She could find absolutely no clues, and most of all; Robin _had_ seemed to forget about Starfire. The poor girl could hardly breathe without him beside her, and he just left her. _The chances of us meeting in the future are slim to none._ So, were the Titans over? _Protect the city without me. _So, he wasn't in the city anymore? Then where was he, back in Gotham?

Starfire was still sobbing, so Raven tried to put her arm around her, awkward as it turned out. However, Starfire appreciated the effort.

* * *

"Friends," Starfire said in a monotone she had started using. It was a morning a week after Robin had left, and without Starfire being her own bright and cheery self, the entire Tower looked like something out of Raven's dreams. "I have decided I cannot stay here anymore." 

The other Titans stopped eating. "What?"

"The Tower holds too many…memories. I cannot survive one day longer in here. I wish to leave, please!" Starfire started. She broke down crying before she could finish her whole statement. The other Titans only spared one glance and one nod before helping Starfire to her feet and placing her in a chair. The breakdowns had become somewhat of a routine.

When Starfire calmed down enough, she said in a shaky voice, "Please, just let me leave. I will never be happy here again. At night, he haunts me, and I am all alone. And in the daytime I see him everywhere and I cannot stand it anymore!"

Raven, Cyborg and Beast Boy looked at each other sadly. They knew it was true; Starfire had not had one happy moment since Robin disappeared. "You…you can…we won't stop you, Star. We know you won't be happy here anymore, but…we'll be sad to see you go. Keep in touch, okay?" said Beast Boy sadly.

Starfire got up from the chair, nodding numbly. "Thank you. Perhaps I shall…"


	2. Chapter 1: Auditions

Kori Anders woke to the sounds of a loud, blaring alarm clock. She groaned and shut it off, trying her hardest not to fall out of bed in the process. She found her pillow wet again. There were tearstains on her cheeks again, too. She had been dreaming of the good old days—again—her subconscious not willing to believe they were over, even five years later. Kori struggled out of bed and tried to forget her dream.

It was 7:00 a.m. As a musician, Kori never understood how she had to wake so early. All of her performances and lessons were in the evening. Speaking of which, she had an audition tonight with a real orchestra. But who needed to practice from seven in the morning to six in the evening for an audition?

Kori looked at herself in the mirror and sighed—again. Gone was her beautiful red hair and sparkling emerald eyes. In an effort to disguise herself from anyone who might trigger another memory, she had dyed her hair black, but couldn't bear to cut it. She had always hated scissors. She also wore customized contacts to whiten the whites of her eyes and turn her irises blue. She couldn't help but think of a boy she used to know who looked very much like she did now…

Kori shook her head. _Enough_. Those days were long over. Kori had made a promise to herself that she would never smile or laugh again until she truly forgot…him.

Kori Anders could very easily have been a model. Her body was perfect, her hair _had_ been perfect, and if her alien beauty hadn't been model material, she didn't know what was. However, she preferred to operate far away from her old life, and modeling was something she had considered as a teen. Instead, she had turned to the soft, non-operatic, as un-Tameranian-like-as-possible music of the flute.

As it turned out, she was perfect for the flute. She did not need oxygen, so she could blow longer than any human ever could. Of course, she had to conceal this for fear of someone putting two and two together and figuring out who she really was. At every rest, she took a short, fake breath. However, she was still a legend as a flute player. She was the best around Gotham; there was no point in denying it.

Tonight she had an audition with one of the most famous orchestras in town. They were all amazing players at their instruments, but their best-known piece was actually somewhat of a joke. They decided to provide the city's crime fighter, the Batman, with theme music. The conductor took the jest in stride, naming his orchestra after the famous superhero.

Kori honestly had no idea what to do about this audition. Even the name of the orchestra brought back painful memories of Batman's ex-sidekick. However, she could really use the money. Her one-bedroom apartment was cozy enough, but nothing like she had had at Titan's Tower…_Stop!_

She figured she would go ahead with the audition. If she made it, she made it. If she didn't, she'd get over it and it probably would be a relief anyway. The way she looked at it, it was a win-win situation for her.

So, all day, she practiced. The piece of her choice was simple, just a three minute Beethoven flute solo. She wanted something that would blow them away, but was easy enough that she could sight-read it. The Beethoven was perfect.

Six o' clock rolled around and Kori packed up her flute and started the thirty minute walk down to the Batman Auditorium. Kori would never trust a car again, after all the T-car had been through. She always kept her face turned away from the street, so she wouldn't see if a motorcycle decided to come whizzing by, especially one with a couple on it.

At exactly six thirty she arrived, giving her enough time for her to get out her flute and do a couple of scales before she was called up to audition before the rehearsal started. She was so nervous, she almost jumped out of her shoes when a man tapped her on the shoulder. She let out a shriek and turned around. The man gave her a tiny smile.

"I was going to ask you if you were here to audition, but I don't really need to anymore, I guess," he said. Kori blushed but tried to appear dignified.

"I'm sorry, I'm just kind of…"

"Nervous? Yeah, I can tell."

Kori examined the guy, who was looking at her with an expression of pity. She hated pity, but what she realized next drove that thought completely out of her mind. Black hair, sunglass-covered eyes, and a lopsided grin. It was too much. She wanted to run away and never look back. This guy was an _exact copy of Robin_.

"Richard Grayson," he said, thrusting out his hand. Kori swallowed her doubts. _That is absurd. Robin is gone. He has not been cloned._

"Kori Anders," she answered as steadily as she could. Richard held out a hand towards the bustling musicians in the concert hall they were in.

"Do you want me to give you the grand tour?" he asked her. She looked at where he was motioning and nodded.

Kori found herself being led through many rooms with people of only a certain type of instrument in them. There was a huge room for the violins and a smaller one for percussion. Everyone she met along the way was in rather formal clothing. All of the men were wearing tuxes and the women were wearing some kind of dresses. _These people must be filthy rich. _She felt so plain in the peasant skirt and blouse she had decided to wear in an effort to look good. The tour ended back at the concert hall.

Along the way, Kori met Bruce Wayne, Richard's adopted father, all the brass players, and Barbara Gordon, who, from what Kori had seen in the five minutes that she had spent near her, was apparently determined to have Richard, but sneaky enough to know the right time to act. She reminded Kori of a very smart Kitten…_shut up!_ **(A/N I hate Barbara, in case you can't tell.)**

Richard looked rather embarrassed after the run-in with Barbara, but presented the concert hall in a manner worthy of a king. "And this is where we mess up so bad every night that people just can't wait to hear us play again," he finished. Kori almost smiled at his joke, but caught herself just in time. She looked at her watch.

"Oh, no! I did not even practice that much…Richard, I must go. Thank you for showing me around here, and I hope I shall need it."

Richard gave her a smile. "You'll do fine, Kori, I know you'll make it!"

_Yeah_, thought Kori, thoroughly depressed, _I know I will, too_.

She didn't want Richard to be here. He was Robin, inside and out. How could she play in the same _room_ as him? Maybe she should purposely mess up and not get the part.

_But then Richard would be so disappointed_, she thought, but shook her head. The way things were going now, she would probably start—dare she think it?—_liking_ him. As in Kori's definition of liking, which would be a whole lot more to Starfire.

_Stop. Just get the part, and I'll work it out from there_, she thought, calming herself. Then, she began to play.

Kori had memorized the music, so she looked up to see the conductor's face from time to time. He was mesmerized by the sound. She kept on playing.

Her piece ended, and before he could stop himself, the conductor burst into applause. "Wonderful, Ms. Anders! You have a guaranteed spot in my orchestra!"

Kori wasn't sure if she should be relieved or anxious. However, she thanked him politely and left the stage.

Richard was waiting on stage left behind the curtains. "Did you make it?" he asked her as they walked off the stage. Kori nodded. Richard grinned at her. "That's great! Well, I just wanted to know. I'll be in the pianists' room if you need me."

Richard squeezed her shoulder lightly and walked off, leaving Kori wondering why she suddenly had a tingling sensation running up and down her arm.


	3. Chapter 2: The Roof

"Hey, I'm Deanna," a short, plump woman said, approaching her. "You must be the new flautist around here."

Kori nodded, and Deanna offered to help her get adjusted to the flute section of the orchestra. "Practice starts at seven, and it goes till nine. Right now we have a competition coming up in two weeks…sorry, _one_ week, so the brass—well, not literally, that's just what I call Fred, you know, the conductor—well, he wants a song that'll be as tough as tough gets. He's going crazy dropping 'incapable musicians' and getting new ones. Anyways, this competition is like a battle of the classical bands. It's a big deal, and the first place prize is five hundred thousand dollars. Fred's a bit eccentric when it comes to money, but the rest of us just want to be the best we can be."

Kori had the feeling Deanna could go on talking for hours and found she was glad to just listen and get her mind off of everything that had happened since she got here.

"…We've only got two harpists, they're twins, Mike and Michelle, they're decent people. Then we've got one pianist, that's Richard. He just joined last year, but he's amazing! Doesn't talk much, though, he's really obsessed with his music."

Kori frantically tried to tune her out again, but couldn't help asking, "Doesn't talk much?"

"Yeah, he's always really upset about _something_, especially if he messes up during full rehearsal. I bet that guy beats himself up at home. He has about two friends here, and I've never seen him talk to a girl…well, except Barbara, if you can call that _talking_…but she doesn't play here, she's just here for Richard. How she knows him, I have no idea. I remember when Ana was here…Ana was a really good friend of mine, but I lost touch with her and I saw her again on Main Street the other day…really nice lady, too…"

Kori tuned her out again, feeling her blood boil at the thought of Barbara. _Stop. No more, remember? You will never have another boyfriend; they're all lying, cowardly…_ Kori took a deep breath and calmed down. Deanna was still talking about someone or other.

"…and everyone asked how I knew her and I said, 'Believe me, I don't want to!' and everyone cracked up. Wow! It's almost seven! Dang, Fred's gonna be sooo mad. We better run there right now."

Kori was awed at the number of people she saw there. She hadn't known an orchestra could be so big. It was made mostly of violins, but there were a fair number of trumpets as well.

Richard caught her eye and before she could look away, he got up from his piano and headed toward her. "Kori, Deanna, hi! How are you? Long time no see!" he chuckled. Deanna seemed happy to have _two_ people to talk to now, and didn't find it suspicious at all that someone who "doesn't talk much" was chatting with her as though she was an old friend. Kori stayed to the side, not willing to even look at him.

"Kori? Kori!" she heard her name being called. She forced her self to turn towards Richard.

"Yes?"

"I was trying to ask you if you thought you were up to learning the hardest piece Fred could compose in one week," he said. Kori shrugged.

"Do you ever smile?" Richard asked, grinning. Kori shook her head no, and Richard's grin faltered a little bit.

"I can't believe Fred dropped Maria. How dare he! She was the best clarinet we had. She didn't practice _one day_ and Fred goes ballistic!" blurted Deanna suddenly, ending the inevitable uncomfortable silence before it began. Richard went back to talking to her. _Does Deanna know every synonym for "crazy" out there?_ Kori asked herself.

Rehearsal was duller than Kori had imagined. What with being able to play the flute perfectly, she was able to sight-read most of the piece. The other flautists were playing with their mouths hanging open.

Two hours crawled by. Kori was nearly bored to tears as Fred worked out the kinks in the flute section, none of which she had a problem with. Finally, they were able to leave.

"Kori!" called Richard. Kori turned around, fighting the urge to just run out and never look back. Why, after five years, was a mere copy of the man she hated with all her heart still torturing her?

"You were amazing!" he whispered. Kori almost giggled at the look on his face, but then reminded herself; _I'm not Starfire anymore_.

"Thank you," she answered. "I believe it is time to…"

"Can I show you something?"

Kori bit her lip, then immediately released it. It was something Starfire would do. "I… all right," she surrendered at his pleading expression. His face relaxed into a smile.

He led her away from the exit, toward a set of stairs. "It's on the roof," he explained. Kori stopped dead. _The roof_. She could feel tears beginning to form.

Richard somehow sensed she was no longer behind him. He turned around. "Kori?"

Kori crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I'm…uh…afraid of heights," she lied, trying to make it sound believable. Richard bought it. He held out his hand.

"Please? I won't let you fall, I promise."

_I can fly. I'm not afraid of falling_, Kori thought, but shook her head. She couldn't fly, and she knew it. She couldn't feel in the least bit happy, let alone unbridled joy. Besides, Starfire flew, not Kori.

"I do not wish to…I mean, I don't want to be a burden, Richard, really, I just don't like heights."

Something flickered across Richard's face at her language mistake. Recognition? However, again, it relaxed into his easy, heart-melting smile.

"It'll be fine, I promise. Trust me, Kori."

Trusting him was the last thing she wanted to do. Kori Anders never trusted anybody. She nodded anyway. Richard took her hand and started up the stairs. Kori almost snatched it away, but controlled herself.

They reached the top, on the roof of Batman Auditorium. There was absolutely nothing—no railing or siding—that could keep someone from falling over the edge. Nonetheless, Kori wasn't paying attention to that. It had been so long since she had been on a roof of any sort…again, tears came to her eyes.

Richard was still holding on to her hand, watching her staring at the stars. "See? It's not that bad."

Kori sat down to keep from collapsing in tears and pulled her hand out of Richard's, hugging herself. Richard sat down next to her. "Are you okay?"

Kori couldn't keep herself in any longer. She burst into tears, burying her head in her knees.

"I didn't know you were that scared, I'm sorry, Kori. We could go back down if you want," Richard said, alarmed, but Kori shook her head.

When she had calmed down, she said, "I'm not scared of heights…I'm scared of…"

She couldn't bring herself to say it. She wanted to leave everything from her old life behind, but it kept catching up.

"Yeah?"

Kori shook her head and started to cry again. Before she knew it, Richard was hugging her. "Kori, don't cry, let's go back down. I didn't know you wouldn't like it up here, it's my fault, and I'm sorry." Which, of course, made her cry harder.

"I do like it up here, Richard."

Richard pulled away suddenly. "I'm sorry, that was dumb, I didn't mean to…I think I'm going to go now," he said hastily. She held him back.

"What's wrong, Richard?"

He looked forlornly at her. "Nothing, Kori, I'm just being pathetic. It was stupid of me to bring you up here, I just…you know…"

"No, I do not…I mean, I don't. Please tell me," she said, her voice still somewhat shaky. Again, Richard looked different at her language slip, but this time he was just more miserable. He settled down by her.

"I just…lost someone, and you reminded me of her so much. I mean, I wasn't trying to use you Kori, I'm just really bad at letting go. I wished you were her, and that she didn't hate me so much, and maybe everything would be all right, but it won't."

Richard was more like Kori than she had thought at first. Kori felt one side of her mouth twitch into what she hoped was a comforting smile. It felt so unfamiliar. Richard noticed.

"You're smiling."

Kori felt it disappear. "I, too…I mean, I've lost someone, too. I promised myself I would never smile again until I truly forgot him. It was supposed to be an incentive."

"So…you forgot him?"

"No, but you've made me feel a lot better about it. I'm glad I'm not alone," she said, the smile returning.

"Why would you want to forget him?" Richard asked.

Once more, her smile vanished. "He obviously forgot me…he never even said goodbye when he left."

Richard grasped her hand again. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up."

"No, I would've had to face it sooner or later. I'm sure she'll come back for you, Richard. She would be crazy not to," Kori replied. Richard grinned bashfully at her and they both started home.

"Can I call you, Kori?" Richard asked. They swapped cell numbers. She started to walk home. "Do you need a ride?" he questioned, seeing she had no car. Kori eyed his motorcycle. Memories were no longer painful, but she would much rather take baby steps. No motorcycle riding for a long time yet.

"No, thanks, Richard. See you tomorrow."

Richard smiled at her one last time before driving off. Kori added a little skip in her step, knowing she wouldn't wake up crying tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 3: Leaving Again?

When she woke up the next morning, Kori did her routine pillow check. It was as dry as a bone, and her eyes felt rather strange, probably from being dry, too. She squealed happily, but then stopped. _You're turning into Starfire_, her subconscious told her. She would have to be more careful, especially around Richard.

Her cell phone rang not five minutes later. "Hello?"

"Hey Kori, it's Richard."

"Hello, Richard. Good morning!"

"You too. I was wondering…" he started, and Kori could hear him coughing. In her mind's eye, she could see him turning red. _Just like Robin_. Kori closed her eyes for a minute, but didn't cancel that thought out altogether.

"…I was wondering if you wanted to go out for breakfast?"

Kori smiled, although Richard couldn't see her. "That would be glori—great, Richard."

"So I'll pick you up at eight?" he joked. Kori laughed, just loudly enough for him to hear it. Richard hung up a little while later and Kori waited impatiently for eight o' clock to arrive.

She looked in the mirror, but didn't sigh. She all out gasped. Her self-dyed hair was orange at the roots. She had completely forgotten to touch it up last night, and Tameranian hair grew _fast_. She looked at the clock, which showed that Richard would be coming in five minutes. "Perhaps I should just cancel it," she moaned.

There was a knock on her apartment door. She took a deep breath and opened it.

Richard stood there, dressed casually, with his sunglasses. "Hey, Kori, sorry, no flowers…" his eyes traveled to her hair and he stopped short. Kori tried to cover her red roots embarrassedly.

"I'm sorry, I was going to tell you, but I just figured it out. We could have breakfast in here, if you want," she mumbled. Richard was still gaping at her hair. He tried to say something, but no sound came out.

Kori started to get annoyed. So her hair wasn't dyed perfectly, big deal. He didn't have to act like a fish to get that point across.

"I…um…sorry," he muttered. Kori turned away from him.

"If you want to leave, go ahead. I didn't know this would be such an insult to you," she said coldly. _Way to go. You're not being Starfire at all _and_ you manage to drive away the one guy who's actually willing to be friends. _

"It's not that, Kori, it's just…I have a question."

Kori turned back to him. "Yes?"

"Do you…this is going to sound stupid…your eyes always did look kind of green to me," he muttered. Kori panicked.

"Green? I forgot to take my contacts out last night! No wonder my eyes felt so weird. I can't believe that…I hope they come out…"

Kori rushed into the bathroom, leaving Richard looking rather white. When she emerged, Richard was gone. In his place was a letter written on a post-it note.

_Kori—_

_Something came up, and I had to leave. Maybe we can do breakfast another time. I'll see you at rehearsal tonight._

—_Richard_

Kori started crying without warning. It sounded so much like the other letter…the one that changed her entire life five years ago. She went back to the bedroom and fished it out of her nightstand drawer. That was the letter that Robin wrote when he disappeared.

"Please, Richard, do not leave me," she moaned, flinging herself on her bed, crying. She got up a few minutes later and checked her pillow. It was wet.


	5. Chapter 4: Robin

At rehearsal that night, Kori looked everywhere for Richard. Surely he wasn't gone? He can't have been. She finally found him talking to Barbara, but she didn't dare intrude. She saw him laughing, and then Barbara right out flirting. There was no mistaking it.

Kori tore her eyes away furiously. Who had she been to hope that maybe Richard would have been more than friends with her? He was just like Robin, leaving her just when she thought everything would be okay. Kori marched back to the flute room.

Deanna was there to meet her. "Hey, Kori, how's it going? Are you okay? You look like you've been crying."

Kori shook her head, trying to hold back her tears. "No, I'm fine."

Deanna gave her a motherly smile. "All right, then. Come on, everyone's waiting for you! You know…"

Kori realized what made this woman such an amazing flute player. Her human lungs must have been extremely strong for her to be able to talk so much.

"…and you know what? I didn't care in the least. I told them they should bug off and never even try that with me. I was nine years old then. Nine! You get what I'm saying, right Kori?" she asked. Kori nodded. Fortunately, she didn't ask anything more.

Richard was at the piano, but Kori didn't even spare him a glance. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him looking anxiously at her, but pretended to be listening to Deanna.

However, Fred was feeling particularly vindictive that day. "I want to show you all how this piece is really supposed to sound! Kori, go back there with Richard. You two show us how it's done."

Kori gulped. She almost told him what a bad idea that was, but then nodded. The walk back there seemed to take forever, and Kori kept her head tilted, like she did on the street, so she wouldn't have to look at Richard.

Fred started to conduct. Kori didn't even look at Richard, but kept her eyes focused on her music, though she didn't need it. Why was this song so long?

It ended, finally, and the conductor made the whole band play what they had just heard. He didn't even give Kori time to get back to the front of the orchestra, where her seat was. She started to hurry back, but Richard grabbed her hand. "Kori, wait!"

Kori pulled her hand out of his grasp and left. As soon as rehearsal ended, she headed out of the building as fast as she could. Apparently, that wasn't fast enough.

Richard grabbed her by the shoulder. "Kori, we need to talk."

"What is there to talk about? I saw you with Barbara, and I hope you two are happy with each other. You're the perfect pair."

"So I can't talk to any other girl anymore?"

"No, you just can't talk to me!"

"And why not?"

"Because you lead people on and then you _leave_ them! You are just like _my _Robin in every way!" she yelled. Richard stopped, his eyes so wide she could see them above his sunglasses. She shook her head and whispered, "But apparently, Robin is not mine anymore."

There. She had said it. She had come to terms with the fact that the man she loved was never coming back for her.

Kori turned on her heel and ran as fast as she could. She ran out of the hall, down the street, around the corner, and into her house in a record time of fifteen minutes. For the second time that day, she flung herself on her bed crying. What was the point of living anymore, on Earth, anyway? She had only stayed here to find Robin, but Robin was gone, probably dead. He hadn't even cared about her at any rate.

She needed to pack for her trip back to Tameran, but she couldn't. She couldn't leave Earth, it was her home. She heard a knock—more like a bang—on her door.

"Kori, open up!" she heard Richard yell. A few seconds later, the banging stopped. There was a muffled thump as Richard leaned back on the door, defeated. "Starfire, please…"

Kori felt numb. This must be some kind of twisted dream. Yes, that was it. She was in one of her dreams where Robin came back for her and everything turned out happily ever after. Kori felt tears slide down her cheeks. Why did these dreams have to end? Why did she have to wake up? Couldn't she just sleep forever and ever and never come back to the real world?

_Click._

Kori groaned. She knew that sound. It was the sound of a lock being picked. Richard must have come into her living room. She heard his soft footsteps approaching her bedroom and looked frantically around for a place to hide. She saw the window, but she couldn't fly. Richard paused at her door.

"Star? I'm coming in," he warned. Kori almost laughed. He was afraid to catch her changing.

Richard opened the door and came in, and Kori looked up at him with tear-filled eyes that were begging for him to go away and leave her in her misery. It was enough to make Richard wince.

"What happened to you, Star?"

Kori looked away and sniffed in disbelief. "_You _happened to me, Richard. You _left_ me, and you said goodbye to everyone _but_ your supposed 'girlfriend' whom you evidently didn't care about. Not only that, but you left us for…for a BAND!" Kori said, her voice rising. She looked up at him furiously. "How _could_ you? You obviously cared about your friends so very little that you did not even bother to tell them the truth! You were _leaving_ the Teen Titans because you were sick of them! And don't you _dare_ call me Starfire anymore. My name is KORI!"

Richard sat down by where Kori's seething form lay and pulled the reluctant girl into a hug. "You know that's not it, Kori. You know I would never leave you if there was another way out."

Kori began to cry silently again. "Yes it is. I won't accept your excuses anymore. You never loved me, you were in love with Barbara and you came to fight with the Batman and stay with her for the rest of your life and completely forget about us and now I happen to chance upon you and you expect me to be happy that we met again and that everything will be alright again and…"

Richard put his finger to her lips, stopping her in mid-long-sentence. "You're right."

"I am? I mean, see? You _used_ me!" Kori yelled, attempting to push him away. Richard pulled her back again.

"You didn't let me finish. Yeah, you were right. I never did love you." Kori's eyes filled rapidly with tears again and spilled over, trying again to get away from him, but he held her back. "I fell in love with Starfire. She's the only girl I could ever love. But if she's gone, I'm willing to give Kori a chance."

Kori stopped struggling. For a while she could say nothing. Then she reached over to her nightstand and pulled out the five-year-old letter. She shoved it in his face. "Where does it say Starfire in there? You _forgot_. Your own _girlfriend_! How do you explain that?"

"Are you sure that's the only reason I didn't write you in there, Kori? Don't you think there would have been some other explanation?"

"Richard, stop. I lived for five years believing that you had never loved me in the first place, which was why you never said goodbye. You were too polite and refined to break up with me in a letter and would rather have done it face to face."

"That's not true, Kori. I couldn't bear to say goodbye to you. I never wanted to leave you, and everything I wanted to say to you wouldn't have fit on _fifty_ pieces of paper that size. Besides, the others would have read it."

Richard grinned wickedly at her, and Kori had to turn away to hide her blush and her smile. The effort was in vain. Richard cupped her chin and turned her towards him. "You told me that any girl would be crazy not to come back to me, Kori."

"That was under completely different circumstances. I thought _she_ had left _you_."

"Yeah, but I never said that. I said I lost her, and she hated me. I never said anything about anyone leaving anyone else."

Kori sighed. "I want to believe you, Richard. Really, I do. But I can't."

"Why not?"

"Would you trust someone who you haven't even seen for the past five years?"

Richard let go of her and leaned back, supported by his arms. Kori realized just how much she had missed it when he was holding her, and now she was pushing him away. Maybe she _was_ crazy.

"No, I guess not," he said, sounding defeated. _No! Don't give up on me like that! I thought you said you loved me!_ Kori thought desperately.

_Then again, he never specifically said, "I love you, Kori."_

Kori surrendered to the looming depression that she knew was coming next. It had happened the first time he left her, too. Her shoulders slumped and her face went completely calm. Again, she felt numb and empty. She was a shell. She was barely a living thing anymore. Her normal cheery self could not take blows like this.

Richard turned to her. "Please, Kori, just give me another chance. I can't guarantee I won't mess it up, but…"

"But I _need_ a guarantee, Richard. I can't…not on broken promises…I can't trust you, Richard."

Richard sighed and stood up. "I'm sorry for wasting your time, Kori. I'll see you at rehearsal tomorrow."

He left her. Again.


	6. Chapter 5: The Competition

Kori didn't go to the rehearsal the next day, or the next. Fred actually called her to yell at her. "Where have you been? We have a competition in two days and you probably haven't even practiced!"

"Sorry, Mr. Arlington. I…um…lost a family member."

"Well get over it and get back here by tomorrow, understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Now don't forget, Kori, that prize is five hundred thousand dollars. If we win, we get _five hundred thousand dollars_. Did you hear how amazing that sounds? If I could just call someone and say 'my band won five…'"

"Yes, sir. Goodbye, sir."

The day after that, she attempted to make herself look presentable, but failed miserably. She started to trudge toward the Batman Auditorium, her face turned away from the street.

When she arrived almost fifteen minutes late, Fred was furious. "They're dead! Get over it already! We have five hundred thousand dollars to win!" he yelled. Kori sighed and nodded.

Richard wasn't there, and Barbara was looking rather glum. Kori sniffed and wiped her already red eyes. Deanna appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh, Kori, you poor thing! Come here, don't cry, what's wrong?"

Kori spilled everything to her, except the fact that she and Richard had been a part of the Teen Titans. Deanna was sympathetic.

"You know, Kori, when I was your age that's all I would worry about, too. Don't worry, everything will turn out all right in the end."

"But it won't, Deanna! He…left me…again," Kori whispered before bursting into tears. All she wanted was for Richard to be here and hold her and promise her he would never again do anything to upset her.

"Come on, Kori, pull yourself together, at least for tomorrow. A person can only carry so much stress at a time before they break. Just forget about him till this competition is off your back and then I'll help you figure out what to do."

"You will? Thank you so much, Deanna," said Kori softly. She wiped away the last of her tears. Deanna was right. She had to get her job out of the way before she did anything about Richard.

* * *

"Oh my, Kori, I've never been so nervous in the past year! I think I'm on a sugar rush, I'm so jumpy."

"Calm down, Deanna," laughed Kori. She didn't feel quite as jumpy, but was nervous as well. Then she saw _him_. He was dressed at his best. Kori forced herself to ignore him and concentrate on listening to Deanna, who was talking about the time she was so nervous she dropped her flute.

"The Batman Orchestra!" they were introduced. They all came out single file and sat in their designated seats.

Fred raised his baton and counted out the first six beats. Then the band began to play their "Remixed Batman Theme," which contained many more trills and higher notes than most people believed possible by the flutes. Kori had no idea what the rest of the orchestra was doing and felt herself beginning to get lost in the music. Pictures flowed through her mind; the waves of the ocean by Titan's Tower was accompanied by the rise and fall in dynamics, the angry trumpets' blares a few measures later reminded her of countless battles. She suddenly jolted out of her reverie in alarm. Her flute solo was two measures away!

1...2…3…4…5…6…1…2…3…4…5…6…Kori began a trill that lasted eight measures, astonishing the judges as she never took a breath in between. After that she had four measures of complex counting and so many thirty-second notes it would have made your average intermediate flute player faint.

The judges clapped when the whole orchestra joined in again. It was almost over…the entire orchestra struck a chord as loud as they could play it without going out of tune. The note was supposed to be staccato, but the flutes held it out and began a gradual decrescendo, adding a wonderful lingering effect. The judges began talking amongst themselves, but one waved for them to leave.

Whispers of, "Oh no, I messed up _so_ bad in measure thirty-six" and, "I think my (insert instrument here) was out of tune the whole time!" were heard once the orchestra gathered in the hallway outside the concert hall. Fred quieted them down.

"I think you did pretty well, but seeing as it doesn't matter what I think, we'll just have to wait for the judges' opinions. Now, would you all stop whispering like that? Where's the bathroom?"

Kori found Deanna and the two girls met with equally large grins on their faces. "I know we probably didn't make first, but that was _excellent_! It was better than I ever heard it!" cried Deanna.

"What are you talking about? Of course we made first!" said Kori. Deanna gasped.

"Knock wood!" she cried. She frantically looked around for wood _to_ knock, and found a table not too far away. Kori sighed and followed her superstitious friend.

Thirty minutes later, the entire orchestra was very jumpy, especially Fred, who had not yet found the bathrooms. He was starting to curse at any and everyone who whispered or drank water. All of the orchestras were called in to announce the winners.

Kori had thought _her_ orchestra was big, but seeing all these people and instruments in the same gigantic room was enough to make anyone awed. There were at least fifteen of the best orchestras from around the world there.

"Third place," called the announcer, "goes to the _Du Musick_ orchestra from Germany!" They cheered and everyone else clapped politely.

"Second place goes to India's _Rajkumar ne Shayar_ orchestra!" Again, everyone clapped, and that orchestra started yelling a bunch of things in Hindi no one could understand. Kori was on the edge of her seat.

"And first place, with a prize of five hundred thousand dollars and the much desired status of the best orchestra worldwide is…"

Kori cast a sideways glance at Fred and almost giggled. He was biting his fingernails and rocking on the edge of his seat. He was muttering something that Kori couldn't make out, too, and for all the world looked like he was about to hear his death sentence.

"Gotham's very own Batman Orchestra!"

For a minute no one moved. Then, as though it had been planned before, the entire orchestra jumped from their seats and started to cheer. Kori hugged Deanna and Fred ran to go look for a bathroom, screaming, "FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS!"

Amongst the celebration, the entire orchestra moved into a tightly knit pack. Kori found herself shoved up against Richard. The two looked at each other for a split second, and suddenly Richard was kissing her. Her heart soared until he pulled away and grinned.

"I love you, Kori," he said. Kori's eyes shined and twinkled as she looked up at him.

"Really?"

"Yeah. And I'm sorry I couldn't promise that to you. I didn't want to mess up again and leave you thinking I was a coward _and_ a liar."

Kori smiled. "I thought I just wasn't worth it."

"Of course you are. You mean the world to me, Kori," he said, pulling her into another kiss. Deanna watched from a distance, beaming.

Kori broke it, eventually. "Richard?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't call me Kori. My name is Starfire."


	7. Chapter 6: The End!

Eventually, everything died down. Richard and Starfire walked outside, hand in hand. "You still owe me an explanation," Starfire joked. Richard smiled and unwound his hand from hers and slipped it around her slender waist.

"Fine. It's a crazy story about a schizophrenic serial killer who joined an orchestra to try and kill our very own Deanna Walker."

"No!"

"Yep. So anyway…"

Richard started to tell the story of what he had been doing these past five years when they reached his motorcycle. Starfire hesitated.

"What's wrong, Star?" he asked.

"I haven't even looked at a motorcycle in the last five years, much less ridden one," she answered meekly. Richard smiled and helped her on, then got on himself. He took her hands and wrapped them around his waist.

"You remember that part, right?" he asked slyly. Starfire blushed, but didn't say anything.

Richard continued his story on the way to Starfire's apartment and into it. "…I went back to Jump City to look for you guys, but Titan's Tower was gone."

"Gone? What happened to Raven and Cyborg and Beast Boy?"

"I don't know. You didn't keep in touch with them?" Richard asked her. Starfire shook her head and sighed, guilt already forming.

"Well, then I realized I really liked the piano, and stayed there 'til I could get news of you guys. Then you came along looking totally different…"

Starfire blushed and lovingly twirled a lock of naturally reddish-orange hair around her finger. She had scrubbed out all the dye in the two days that she was "mourning her dead family member." She sat down on her couch and motioned for Richard to sit beside her.

"So, what've you been doing?" Richard asked softly. Kori shrugged.

"Oh, you know, this and that. I got a job teaching the flute to younger kids in a middle school. They were all wonderful. Then I moved to Gotham to play in this orchestra and I left them all behind," Starfire sighed.

"Where did your English get so much better?" asked Richard teasingly. Starfire sighed again.

"That…_this_ is just a cover. I always have to think about what I say before I say it. I don't…_didn't _want people figuring out who I was. I wish I could go back to my old way of talking…it was so much easier."

"You can now, right? It's just me."

Starfire relaxed. "I suppose. I have never lost my liking for mustard, though much else has changed. I still keep as many bottles as I can in a cabinet. Oh, Richard, you _must_ try some of a new variety I brought. It is the most wonderful thing I have ever tasted!"

Richard grinned. "I'll pass. But I'm glad you…you know, aren't really talking like that. I missed how you used to take everything literally."

"Yes, well…"

"Something wrong?"

"Can't everything go back to the way it _used _to be, Richard? When we were the Teen Titans and the five of us were more or less very content?"

"We're technically not teens anymore, Star."

"Then perhaps just the Titans? And it would be wonderful…we could build the Tower again right by the ocean and watch the sunset every evening and…"

"Yeah…" Richard said, watching Starfire staring into space dreamily. He grasped her hand. "I promise we will, one day. We'll find Raven and Beast Boy and Cyborg and we'll be the Titans again."

Starfire smiled at him. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For promising."

Richard gave her his famous lopsided grin. "Anything for you, Star."

Starfire giggled as he kissed her, happier than she had been in five years.

------------------------------------------------------

Starfire woke to the sounds of a loud, blaring alarm clock. She grinned and shut it off, trying her hardest not to fall out of Richard's arms in the process. Richard muttered something in his sleep and pulled her closer. Starfire giggled against his shirt, glad he had gotten too tired to go home last night. Then, she turned on to her stomach and swept her hand across the pillow. Completely dry. She knew it would stay that way for a long while yet.

* * *

It's done! Tell me what you thnk of it, but please don't be_ too _harsh. Constructive criticism is okay. 


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